The Benefits of Living in a Nanny State

So every year since I began smoking I have tried to quit ... and subsequently failed. The main deterrent to my success is the inevitable nit fit that comes along with the addiction. These episodes generally start around the time the bargaining process begins while grieving (they are like little friends in a box that die after quitting). I mean, hey, Albert f'ing Einstein smoked and he was the smartest guy on the planet ... obviously I shouldn't be so arrogant to believe I'm more intelligent in my choices than him right?

A lesser deterrent is the eventual cost that quitting entails as well. You would think that quitting would save money instead of costing but I have found that, in the short term, this is to some degree untrue. Given the obvious fact that smokers generally do not think in the long term this may be of some consequence. Inevitably (unless you are one of those freaks that can quit cold turkey) a prospective ex smoker has to purchase some form of medication to alleviate the physical symptoms of withdrawal. These come in numerous forms which I won't list. My current favorite is the gum, but I have been known to slap a patch on every once in a while. These medications cost a pretty penny in lump sum, and if it wasn't for New York's taxes on tobacco, they would be a much more expensive way of putting nicotine in your body than a pack of cigarettes.

Given the fact that a pack of squares costs $8.50 here in the city, the cost of quitting should be more favorable to New Yorkers. Milligram for milligram, the knock off brands for patches and gum are relatively even. That is, you get the same amount of nicotine for your dollar whether you spend it on quitting or continuing the sweet sweet inhalations.

Thanks to New York and NYU I don't really have to worry about how much the alternatives to smoking cost. This is because the city and the school give them away for free. Any person over the age of 18 in NYC can apply for and receive free nicotine patches or gum and not incur the cost of quitting. But, as I stated before, there is no objective cost to quitting. Quitters, if not pampered by the tax payers of this fine town, would be spending the exact same amount, for their nicotine habit through purchases of medication as they would through packs of cigarettes. Does anyone else find this ridiculous? Even a really really poor smoker has absolutely no need for help in financing his attempt (unless you are talking about the people who pick up the buts from the street and are smoking for free). If a person doesn't quit, he will obviously be spending a ton of money on tobacco which he could have used for the gum. So why the subsidy?

I can only think of two reasons that this "help" makes any damn sense. First is the risk of not succeeding. The patches and gum don't come in convenient packs of 20 like smokes so that you can pay $8 at a time for your fix. You have to lay down around $70 at one time to begin quitting. Given the fact that only 26 percent of people make it to 12 weeks smoke free, there is a chance that a relapse will occur after only using a small portion of the $70 purchase. The rest is wasted, especially if not used quickly (the medicine comes with expiration dates). Secondly, the subjective value that a smoker places on his habit is lost in the milligram comparison. Chewing gum sucks balls compared to filling my lungs with smoke and carcinogens. That last sentence should make clear how much a difference subjectivity can bring to this discussion, as most would pay not to do what I find gratifying. How does a society quantify this? Although it may only cost $70 to buy the medicine, it may really feel like a greater loss; needing more motivation than simply what it is worth to be a non smoker.

I doubt the city thought of any of this when they concocted this plan though. They - at the cost of the taxpayer of course - are just trying to "do good" like always. I hope no one gets pissed that they payed me to try and quit smoking again - even though it would have cost me absolutely nothing.